Dear Shane Black,
Please oh please write a movie that crosses over the majority of your smart mouth detective characters, revealing them to all be living in the same universe.
Here is a suggestion for the plot:-
Riggs & Murtaugh (from Lethal Weapon), having finally retired, still have the itch to help people & solve crimes. So they start up their own Private Investigation agency.
Whilst on a case commissioned by their old captain to gather some evidence that will help towards solving a murder they are shot/blown up/thrown off a building/killed to death with murder.
BOOM! Plot twist!
At the funeral we see Murtaugh's old partner we never met, cos he left the force to join the secret service, Joe Hallenbeck (from The Last Boy Scout) there to pay his respects. He quizzes the captain about the mystery surrounding the deaths and returns to his LA offices and his PI partner Jimmy Dix, incensed and ready to find Murtaugh's killer.
At the same time, Gay Perry and Harry Lockhart (from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) are working on a case on the other side of town that is seemingly unrelated, investigating a client's apartment burglary. They're attacked and manage to fend off their attackers, but their client goes missing. With what clues they have they seek to find who is behind both mysteries.
The two pairs of detectives cross paths with each other as their respective investigations overlap.
Fun and fights and a profound use of 'fucks' ensue.
Turns out someone is killing off Private Eye's. Both teams try to track down the killers, each two butting heads with the others while still butting heads with their own partners, but their efforts are helped by some information from Mitch Henessey (from Long Kiss Goodnight).
They all meet up to discuss what is happening when they are attacked again. Mitch is hurt bad and ends up in hospital while the other guys try to figure everything out and who/where the main bad guy is.
As they head into the final fray, the big showdown, they are helped out by Mitch's former client Samantha Caine aka
Charly Baltimore an ex-CIA assassin, there to settle an old debt to Mitch.
This muti-combo-meta-mashup will of course allow you to thoroughly pepper the script with 5-6 times your usual amount of your trademarked smart-mouthed quick-witted banter and gloriously well designed ridiculous set pieces of action.
Also, though it's surely redundant for me to mention this, it should of course be set around Christmas.
I ask this as a fan and a lover of great characters and action.
It would be awesome if you could find your way to complying to my wishes. I believe many many others would sincerely appreciate it besides myself.
Might I also humbly suggest a title:
Big Bunch Of Dicks
Yours hopefully,
Pete
Posted this a while back on Facebook, but I stand by it's merits.
Dear Hollywood,
Make a Predator film where the Predator is the protagonist and he gets
left on a hostile world with super hard bad-ass alien creatures in a
tough-as-shit eco-system.
He goes there to hunt but it's way tougher
than he thought and he has to survive, all the while relying less and
less on his equipment and meanwhile honing his hunting skills to near
perfection.
And call it 'Prey'.
Yours copyrightedly,
Pete
So, I get a lot of stuff popping into my head.
As do we all.
And sometimes I think about writing it down and sometimes I forget to do so and it's lost forever.
Sometimes it's a good thing cos obviously not every idea is good, in fact most are the gibberings of a lonely bored mind trying to occupy itself until the next cartoon comes on. But sometimes I'm gutted because if nothing else they're fairly entertaining.
I thought this would be a good place to write them down. That way I'll always be able to find them and people can have a look and comment/like/hate/troll/rant as they see fit.
This blog shall have no discernible thread between posts nor any particular point to it other than to put down the things my brain tells me are good ideas, even when I know they are not.
So here is my first one that's been in my head for around 12 years:
A con-man movie about two grifters. One finds out about his real father and seeks him out, the other is about to pull the biggest job of his life but has fallen for the mother of the woman he was going to use as a patsy after finding out she is in deep with some loan sharks after her mother inherits her father's bad debts after his death.
After some initial rivalry and double-crossing they must team up with each other to rip off the mob and save the two women with their trickery.
It will star Gary & Jake Busey as the estranged father and son and it will be called "Trust me".
The trailer will in fact end with the women saying "Are you sure you can pull this off?" and the pair turn to the camera slowly revealing their massive, teeth filled, trademark, shit-eating, remarkably untrustworthy grins and they say "Trust me!"
So this is what happens in my head.
And now it happens here.
Please feel free to check out my other blogs- The one where I make lists of things and the one that nobody is interested in.
Until next time fools,
Pete
